I just came from work today, tired and very drained. I really miss the work I had way back in the Philippines. In college I had lots of activities in large organizations that allowed me to be doing office work yet be on the field when production shows are about to be up and running. After college I got into a company which was pretty much on the IT industry. Every work was facing the monitor screen and having your hands and fingers on the keyboard for ninety percent of the time probably. Yes, those were the days and right now I can really give a clear comparison from the job I have right now. They are having me train to be a manager but then I still feel that deep down inside that passion and dream to be working in a graphic design inclined work is still strong in me. I want those formal clothes you get to use everyday. There’s something to formality that I am pretty much liking it so much. I want those day shifts, not nights. I want those brain damaging deadlines, not the running back and forth the floor to catch up on food production and seat people. I want those professional knowledge from experienced people, not the customer’s opinion on the food we serve and their complaints. I want those badge printer they use to make those sleek id’s, not some name tag that says nothing about you at all. I really do miss that kind of work. I am going home to the Philippines for quite some time soon and I’ll be back on the first month next year to spend time with my once-a-baby-now-a-toddler and my sweetest hubby. I guess with that much time I could take time to reflect on what I want in life and where I should start putting my feet on first. Economy is really down and bad right now (and ever since we came here) and its not helping me at all to have any option. I know I sayed a lot of things like promising to be back and working for the same restaurant company. But I know in time it will affect my future decisions. In terms of plans and goals over 5 years, I bet this work I have right now does not guarantee me any. Or if not, it may do good since I think I do my best performance at all times.. but definitely not bring me anywhere higher and closer to what my heart tells me. I do hope and pray that whatever it is God is leading me to, that I may have the heart to accept it or if not be content with it. I know in life not everything you want you will get. And I know too that passion does not only come from things you like and want to do. I am passionate about my job right now (it is a blessing to me!) and I put my heart and mind into it. I may feel down and underpaid for now, but I know all my hard work did not just fall on deaf ears and eyes. I know that they know my dedication for work drives me to pursue taking the bus an hour and a half just to get to work.