At times when you think there’s nothing else you can do, a tiny light magically presents itself and turns things for the better.

So that was all I need. A very deep heart to heart talk with my God’s Gift. And I tell myself, why can I be stupid not to find the answer when it is (or he is) right in front of me - through the webcam that is. I know I have been on my very unlikely self lately. It seldom comes out you know. And having that time to talk, deeply understand our hearts’ desire… I’m back.

Back to a better SELF.

Back to a positive outlook.

Back to square 1.

I am giving myself the challenge to just let go. Let time bring what it has to offer me. Let all the efforts finally have its living proof. I am challenging myself to cope up with all the hardships and trying times I am experiencing right now. To try to always have that strong thought in mind that I have for so long dreamed of every now and then. Perhaps I had to empty my cup of mixed emotions to start out right. I do know I have a lot of catching up to do. I look haggard as we speak. I need to do some fixing up. And that means me, my inner soul, my profound happiness, my precious life, my extraordinary dreams, Even fixing what was never really there at all….my Mom, Dad, and the rest in this family.

Yes, I do face it another challenge to wake up everyday wishing I am with my baby (who has now grown so much - a toddler.) But nevertheless, my heartaches will soon be gone. Once I get it all aligned to what I want my life to be then it is all in good shape. I do challenge myself to find more meaning to my everyday wait. It is very agonizing yet I will face it for the hopes and dreams for that little girl.

She has indeed been a blessing to me and Tabby. She keeps me strong too. Most of the time. Sometimes too much it makes me miss her too. This will do for now… Please pray for me, whoever you are.